Which “C” was confused by the crowd waiting in the lobby of the People’s Improv Theater on Friday night? That “C” would be me. I was there for “The Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit,” and I don’t know why all of the quasi-hipster, ballet-flatted women in their late twenties surprised me, but I was a little knocked off my game.

If it really were a room full of tweenage fans, giggling childishly and frantically typing away on their sidekicks, that’d be a little too scary for words. But it would’ve been nice to see a few of them, or at least their adult world equivalent: the homosexual male. Thanks to all those that knew enough to go online beforehand, the show had already sold out before people even started filing in to buy tickets. Apparently, Gossip Girl fans are no joke.

About 10 minutes before the show, a startlingly handsome pair of men pushed their way to the front of the crowd: the gays had arrived. A wash of confusion swept over their startlingly handsome gay guy faces when they were told, “I’m sorry, the show is sold out.” I rapidly texted Melanie, “OMFG, there evn turning th gays away from The Gossip Girl Summit…” She replied with lightning speed “GASP! This sh*t is serious!!”

Moderator Sara Benincasa calls upon the panel to provide insight to the myriad of unanswered questions (i.e. “Would you go to town on Ed Westwick’s 20-year-old baby dick?”), untackled subjects (Chuck Bass date rape fantasies, anyone?) and catty observation (“Serena’s trannilicous make-up job is starting to resemble the Burger King King mask”).

Over-enthusiastic input poured from a super-sized panel of self-appointed “Gossip Girl” experts, ranging from Gawker’s “LOLcait”, who watched GG to numb the pain of the Bush administration, to smug UESider, Rya Backer, there to remind us that Jewish girls do not give head. The participation trickled all the way down to Benincasa’s boyfriend, who spent hours compiling every song ever played on GG in preparation for the show. After the pre-taped video of Sirius Indie talk show host, Diana Saez presenting Chris Rovzar with an award for his hard hitting coverage of GG, showering the audience with complimentary headbands, cupcakes and trivia question prizes AND the musical GG-themed ukulele stylings of Jen Kwok, there was barely anytime left to get to the actual summit! “Why didn’t they break this up into 2 groups?!” I texted to Mel, perplexed “Half for this show, n half for th next! There’s waaaay too much to cover n not enuf time!”

Before attending the show, I had only seen one episode of “Gossip Girl” but after a couple of minutes, I was just as excited as the grown women in the room who came dressed as characters from the show. Who knew this hyper-colored, artificial world of white elitism could invoke such a level of enthusiasm from seemingly ordinary men and women? One moment they were standing around quietly chatting and sipping from their Amstel lights and the next moment they’re booing a negative critique of Chace Crawford and screaming for the head of Michelle Trachtenberg! The whole thing seemed just as cathartic as it was entertaining and later on I wondered, how exactly did people in their early 30’s get through all of that Kelly and Brenda drama back in my 90210 days? It was similar to emerging from a Sioux sweat lodge, but instead of clarity, I left with a cute headband.